Understanding Anxiety in Our Communities

Anxiety isn't just feeling stressed or worried – it's a persistent sense of fear or unease that can manifest physically through rapid heartbeat, sweating, difficulty sleeping, or that knot in your stomach that just won't go away. For BIPOC individuals, anxiety often comes with additional layers: the pressure to represent our culture, bridge generational gaps, and manage expectations from both our ethnic and adopted cultures.

During the holidays, these feelings can intensify. Maybe it's explaining to aunties for the hundredth time why you're still single, handling microaggressions at office holiday parties, or struggling with the financial pressure of buying gifts while sending money back home. For South Asians specifically, the holiday season might mean juggling Diwali celebrations alongside Christmas, adding another layer of complexity to an already busy time.

10 Practical Tips to Manage Holiday Anxiety

1. Set Cultural Boundaries with Care

Why it matters: Cultural expectations can be overwhelming, especially when everyone has an opinion about how you should live your life.

Try this: When a family member asks about your marriage plans at the holiday gathering, have a prepared response like, "I'm focusing on my career right now, but I appreciate your concern. How's your garden doing?" Redirect with respect.

2. Create a Culturally-Affirming Space

Why it matters: Being around people who understand your experience can be healing.

Try this: Host a "fusion" holiday dinner where friends can bring dishes that blend their traditional foods with holiday classics. Imagine samosas alongside turkey, or adding Indian spices to pumpkin pie.

3. Practice Financial Boundaries

Why it matters: Many BIPOC individuals feel pressure to provide for family both here and abroad.

Try this: Set a clear holiday budget that includes regular family support. If you usually send $300 home monthly and spend $500 on holidays, stick to that instead of overextending yourself.

4. Embrace Cultural Code-Switching Breaks

Why it matters: Constantly switching between cultural contexts is exhausting. Try this: Schedule deliberate "culture-free" zones in your day. Maybe it's a 30-minute walk where you don't check messages from family or think about holiday obligations.

5. Develop a Stress-Relief Toolkit

Why it matters: Anxiety can hit at unexpected moments, especially during family gatherings.

Try this: Keep a meditation app on your phone with recordings in your native language, pack calming essential oils like lavender, or save soothing music from your culture for quick anxiety relief.

6. Honour Your Multicultural Reality

Why it matters: You don't have to choose between cultures or traditions.

Try this: Create new traditions that honour all parts of your identity. Mix playlist with both Bollywood classics and holiday tunes, or decorate with items that represent different aspects of your heritage.

7. Plan for Microaggression Management

Why it matters: Holiday gatherings, especially professional ones, can be full of subtle (or not-so-subtle) insensitive comments.

Try this: Prepare brief, educational responses to common microaggressions. When someone compliments your "exotic" holiday dish, respond with: "It's actually a traditional recipe that's been in my family for generations. Would you like to know more about its history?"

8. Schedule Recovery Time

Why it matters: Cultural celebrations can be emotionally and physically draining.

Try this: Block out "recovery days" after major holiday events. If you have a big family gathering on Saturday, keep Sunday free for self-care activities like yoga, journaling, or simply sleeping in.

9. Find Your Community

Why it matters: Shared experiences can make anxiety feel less isolating.

Try this: Join online groups for BIPOC individuals dealing with holiday stress, or start a group chat with friends who understand your cultural context. Share memes, vent about similar experiences, and offer support.

10. Maintain Cultural Wellness Practices

Why it matters: Traditional wellness practices can be grounding during stressful times.

Try this: Incorporate cultural self-care practices into your routine. This might mean oil pulling in the morning, practicing deep breathing, or drinking traditional herbal teas that your grandmother swore by.

Remember: Your Feelings Are Valid

Anxiety during the holidays doesn't mean you're not grateful or that you're letting your family down. It means you're human, navigating complex cultural waters during an already stressful season. Give yourself grace, take it one day at a time, and remember that it's okay to prioritize your mental health while honouring your cultural heritage.

Whether you're dealing with pressure from family, navigating multiple cultural celebrations, or simply feeling overwhelmed, know that your feelings are valid and you're not alone. By implementing these strategies and adapting them to your specific situation, you can create a holiday season that feels more manageable and authentic to who you are.

Stay well, take breaks when needed, and remember: you don't have to be everything to everyone during the holidays. Sometimes, being present and taking care of yourself is the greatest gift you can give to both yourself and your loved ones.